The teachings begin.

This second meeting was in the home of the person who had invited me to that momentous first encounter. Again the room was filled with about 15 people some of whom had been to her first seminar in Toronto. I was surprised to find myself suddenly filled with panic when her car pulled into the driveway.

“What was this?” I thought to myself. “Why should I suddenly feel such anxiety at the arrival of someone whose very essence was unconditional in her deliverance of love and peace?”

I realized that this fear was coming from a part of myself that was also present in every one else. It was the part of me that just didn’t want change, that wanted everything to stay just the way it was. Many people call this part the ego.

I began to hear my heart beating furiously in my chest. “Someone open a damn window in here it must be a hundred degrees” I thought to myself. I nervously wrung my hands together and noticed that they felt clammy and cold.

“If I’m feeling such fear, then why am I still sitting here in this room?” The sliding doors that lead out to the back patio herald my path to escape but instead I found myself frozen where I sat.

“OK, then there must be a part of me that does want to change” I thought.

In that moment I came to realize something wonderful about myself. If my spiritual self knows all things and therefor has no need to learn and my ego self refuses to learn, then who is this still small voice inside of me that is thirsting for change? Who is this person now sitting here in this room? That small voice that kept whispering inside my head that kept saying, “Stay, just sit, be still,” was simply that state of being I have come to know as my “Christ Consciousness”. It would be this being that Grandmother would lovingly come to call Goha. This state of awareness that was now here in the room with me I could sense was still very fragile and in need of tremendous nurturing. But right now the spark was alive in me and although it appeared insignificant in that moment, it also wouldn’t let me out of my chair! As for this anxious fear I was feeling? Well, this was simply my ego’s acknowledgement that something big was about to change in my life.

As she walked through the door you could hear her laughter as she greeted our host. You could hear the growing excitement in her voice as she greeted everyone else one at a time. When she finally saw me she voiced such a cry of delight that it quite literally shocked me to the core. All my fears evaporated in that exquisite moment. It was like greeting an old lost best friend but how could she presume to know me so deeply, we’d only met once before…

We gathered around her in a circle. As she placed a candle in the center she said as she lit it. “This is the fire of Nunda the sun. When we gather together, we sit in a circle so that all can see and be blessed by this fire. You see, in a circle no one can block Nunda’s love from you. Let no one come between you and her fire. This is the blessing the circle gives.”

Finding Home

Thus began the  sharing of her path of Medicine. She talked of many things that day all of which kept us mesmerized like children cozying up under a Master Story Tellers’ blanket. It was then that she announced that she was here by way of a prophecy given to her by her grandmother. That the day would come when she would travel north to find the faces that she would recognize from her visions. Faces that  she would know from times long past. Faces that had once made a promise to Creator to return when the Earth Mother called. Those faces were ours and if we so chose we were being invited back on The Path of Medicine.

I will always remember Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha’s words at the closing of that afternoons sharing. “Beloveds,” she said, “life is a cycle, a cycle is a circle, and in a circle all things return to where they first began”.

Indeed, I knew that some part of me had come full circle. I had finally found my mentor. Someone whose wisdom would guide me home.